Saturday, March 31, 2012

Conference weekend.

Dear Reader,

It's conference weekend! It's pretty much like Christmas. I mean, 8 hours of listening to inspired counsel from our prophets and apostles? Yeah, I can't think of anything better, either.

It's not too late! If you forgot to watch today, there's still two more session tomorrow. Woo!

Come listen to a living prophet

Monday, March 26, 2012

People. What more can I say?

Dear Reader,

Sometimes there are people in your life who say something so incredibly stupid and insensitive that the only logical response you can give them is an open-mouthed, incredulous stare, because the English language just hasn't evolved enough yet to address this particular level of stupidity.

It's moments like these that I have to remind myself of one important fact: People are idiots. Laugh about it. And then just get over it.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Wanna hear a joke about pizza?

Eh, nevermind, it's really cheesy.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Hindsight is 20/20

Yesterday in my Young Women lesson I mentioned that Satan is my buddy and my constant companion. I realized as soon as I said it that it sounded like I want him to be hanging around. I would like to amend that statement.

Satan is NOT my buddy. Satan is more like that weird kid who lives down the street and eats paste, and no matter what you do to get rid of him, he's always showing up at your door asking if you want to play.

Only, he's able to make eating paste look really appealing sometimes. Which is just stupid.

That's exactly what Satan is like.

You know, just in case you were wondering.

Monday, March 12, 2012

A Eulogy

Dear Reader,

I'm about to wax nostalgic. Feel free to just come back another day if nostalgia isn't your thing.

Yesterday my cat Mittens died. The doctors say she had a stroke and she was in a paralytic state when my parents rushed her to the emergency vet where they decided the best thing for her was to put her to sleep.

Isn't that a silly phrase, to "put someone to sleep"? Maybe it's to make us feel better about killing animals. I don't know. I do know I feel better to say that Mittens was put to sleep, rather than to say she died. It sounds less harsh and more humane. And it is. I'm a true advocate of putting animals to sleep if there is really nothing else that can be done for them and if it will help them pass easier. Mittens was old and she had been experiencing health problems. This wasn't exactly a sudden occurance, her dying. But it doesn't make it less sad. She died wrapped in one of my old towels, watching my mom who was standing by her side.

Poor Mittens. Her life was pretty stressful for a house cat.

I don't know where she was born, but I know it probably wasn't in great circumstances. We found her behind our apartment building in Venezuela, where she was pretty hungry. We tricked her into to coming home with us by feeding her club crackers and cheese. (A well-balanced diet.) She did try to run away into the road at one point, but the landlady grabbed her by the leg and pulled her back. And that was that. She was ours.

And by "ours" I mean "mine." I had wanted a cat for, like, ever. I mean, I was only 10, so "forever" was like 5 years. But it felt like an eternity. It was a dream come true to finally have a cat of my own. I took care of her and we formed the kind of bond you might expect a human and a cat to have. (The one where the human wants the cat to love it and where the cat tolerates the human as long as the food keeps coming.)

Mittens probably did not love that in her time with us we made her live in three different countries. I'm sure that wasn't her favorite. But I'm sure her least favorite of all the things we made her do was to live with dogs. What on earth were we thinking? (Her words, not mine. I love dogs!) Mittens outlived two dogs and had to experience 2 others in her time with us. That's a total of 4 dogs too many, according to the cat.

But despite how we tortured her, I like to think that she knew we loved her. And we will miss her. It's a sad thing to have someone who has been in your life for so long suddenly be gone forever. But I like to think that wherever she is now, she's happy. As long as there aren't any dogs around.


And as long as humans aren't making her pose for pictures.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Arise and Shine Forth

Dear Reader,

Tonight we had New Beginnings for my ward's Young Women (yeah, I know, kind of late in the year, but give me a break, I've been trying to get used to this whole being president thing). Our theme for the evening was "Arise and Shine Forth," which is the 2012 theme for the youth in the Church. (Find out more here!)

Because I'm super clever and definitely think ahead, I forgot my camera and did not take any pictures of decorations or food. Just take my word for it, it was pretty good. We had yellow decorations (sunshine...shining forth...you get it) and rainbow food (because rainbows are in the sky, much like the sun, and rainbow food is cooler than yellow food and the Young Women colors just happen to include all the colors in the rainbow).

For a gift for the girls, I made a poster and we gave them sparklers and the new For the Strength of the Youth book (Yes! There's a new one and it's SO COOL! Check it out here if you haven't seen it yet. And check it out here if you have.).

I do have a picture of the poster, so this is what that looks like:





















And right about now you're thinking, "Ooooh, THAT'S why she did sparklers! What a clever idea Sister Beer!" Yeah, I know. Thank Pinterest for that one. Pretty sure I stole the idea from someone else's blog. That's what that site is for, right?...

Anyway, it was a success! So now I'm going to bed because the stress of putting on that event quite literally has drained all of the energy out of me. (That is a really good example of why I am the most introverted person on the Highlights editorial team, in case you are wondering. Because it's true, I am. We took the test and tests don't lie. Usually.)